I can’t believe that in two days, I’ll be loading all of my worldly possessions on to a moving company truck and wrapping up this ‘adventurous journey’ I have had in LA. When I moved to the West Coast I had high hopes for what I would be able to accomplish here, but also no true expectations. After all, they don’t call this la la land for nothin’. ;)
Since passing the torch last September, I have had an array of feelings ranging from relief to sadness to anger to contentment. In true Capricorn fashion, you never really know what you’re going to get. Ha! All of those feelings have stemmed from several different factors, but a majority of them from the unknown. Being here in LA was an opportunity to meet people and make connections; thrive. I thought being Miss America coupled with the forces of William Morris Endeavors, I would be headed for success in no time! I mean…I am headed for success. Just… via a different route.
As I have mentioned before, one of the things I remain most grateful for here in the land of la la is my newfound relationship with God. This past Wednesday’s “Midweek” sermon (preached by Hank Fortener) at Mosaic was one I will never forget. I attend church alone (I like to) so that I can really immerse myself in the praise and worship, and this week I was thiiiiiiiiiiiis * * close to not going, but God pushed me out the door and with each word that rolled off of Hank’s tongue, I knew exactly why I was there.
The sermon was based upon the verses John 4:1-38. My favorite passage is as follows:
7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.[a])
10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of waterwelling up to eternal life.”
15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
Jesus met this woman at the well because he knew it was the one place he would find her, day after day. Hank brought this passage to us because he is challenging us to be more persistent in asking God for the things we need in life, but to stop thinking so small. When she turns to him and says:
You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?
Basically she is saying “Bah! Where is your bucket, dude?”
Jesus isn’t thinking in buckets. He’s thinking in rivers and oceans.
Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of waterwelling up to eternal life.
So often we scoff at God after showing up to the well once or twice. I am as guilty as the next person in doing just that. How many times have you shown up once or twice and said to yourself “See, I knew God wasn’t listening!”
He is listening. But, we have to stop thinking in buckets when God is trying to send rivers and oceans of blessings our way. We have to keep going back to the well.
To me, moving to Los Angeles was something I had to do. If you know me, I’m pretty good at setting my mind to something and making it happen (I don’t know where I got all of my never-ending courage from, but I’ll absolutely take it). LA was no different. I’m so happy that I made the decision to move and I am grateful for my time as Miss America because without it, I financially would have had a much different experience. However, New York is where my heart lies.
I can’t wait to get back to school, have a routine, feel productive and be with my friends. As much as I have enjoyed all of the amazing travels I have had in the last ten months, I look forward to spending some much-need time in one place. I also know that I can capitalize on the relationships and resources I created for myself in New York as I continue on my journey in life and it doesn’t hurt to be moving in with my favorite person ever.
I’m going back to my well.